Marriage is only the beginning!
Dating, done. Engagement, done. Stag and hen do’s, check. Wedding, check. Now you are moving on to that big next chapter of your life with your new spouse. Marriage. In a world of 72 hour marriages, even quicker divorces and celebrities skipping from one partner to the next, be the exception. Staying married poses it’s challenges. Saying ‘through better or worse’ is easy, but sometimes sticking to those vows can be difficult. That’s why we’ve thrown together some tips and advice for maintaining a happy relationship!
Marry your best friend.
Simple. Marry the person whom you adore most in the world. Be with the person who you cannot imagine life without, and who has been there with you through highs, lows, laughter and tears. Be with the one person who you can be completely open and honest with, and who you love irrevocably and irreplaceably. Who admires your best bits, and your faults in equal measure, and who shares so much in common with you, but also marvels at your differences. Marry your best friend. Honestly.
Honesty really is the best policy…
Be truthful. Tell your partner if they’ve done something to upset you. Talk. Open up about what they’ve done that’s hurt your feelings, or annoyed you. There’s nothing worse than passive aggressiveness where you’re fighting, but your not really fighting at all. Giving them the silent treatment, or being shorthanded might feel good at first, but it won’t achieve anything in the end. Be an adult and sit down to discuss the issue and make steps to work through it. Never go to sleep on an argument, or if you’re still stewing over the fact that he left all the dirty dishes on the side, or that she came in from work late. Be open. Be honest. Work it out.
Forgiving and Forgetting…
Let it go. Whatever it is, if you’ve accepted an apology you can’t bring it up every time you have an argument. Forgive and move on. We know some things are worse than others, and certain things take more time than others to get over, but once you have offered your forgiveness you need to take that as a fresh start. Remember that your partner is only human and they are bound to make mistakes. Be understanding of this. Yes. Get angry, be mad at them and shout, but once you’ve had time to cool off, put things into perspective. Be honest about how you have been made to feel, talk it out, and figure out a plan. Allow time for things to heal and then move forward. Forgive and move on, and then leave the bad blood in the past.
‘It’s compromise that moves us along”
Adam Levine talked sense when he suggested that “it’s not always rainbows and butterflies”… Be realistic about your life goals and recognise that your wants, goals and aspirations might not always align to your partner’s. Work, family, friends and finances are all things that you might come to disagree on, whether it’s deciding whether you need that new television set, or something bigger like if/when to start a family. Sit down and take the time to discuss these things. Give each other the opportunity to air their own opinions and then come to an agreement, or some middle ground that you are both happy with. Don’t just give in if there’s something you feel strongly about, but make sure that you come to an understanding whereby both of you are in agreement.
Quality ‘together’ time
Put down your phones and enjoy each others company, face to face. Arrange date nights and make sure you stick to setting aside time every week to spending some time together. Don’t be afraid to sacrifice one night out with your friends in order to spend some time with your partner. It’s important that you continue putting effort in and that you never get complacent. Continue showing appreciation for your partner and keep putting the maximum amount of effort into your relationship. This will ensure you both feel loved, valued and appreciated… key ingredients to a happy marriage!
Alone time is important too…
Contradictory, I know, but maintaining an individual life is important! Be your own person and go out and do your own thing. Marriage might legally bind you to your partner, but that doesn’t mean you have to do absolutely everything together. Invite your friends round, or go out to see them and enjoy some time in your own friendship circle. Don’t sever ties with your friends just because you’ve got married! Make plans to meet up with people, or just to spend some time on your own whether that’s going for a run, or reading in the local park. Carry on doing things you enjoy and never remove relevance from your own enjoyments and hobbies. Be you.
Keep things exciting!
Marriage is long term, and it’s natural for things to sometimes get a bit stale so it’s important that you are open to trying new things. Whether that’s new activities, classes or something a bit different in the bedroom! Don’t force yourself or your partner to do anything you are uncomfortable with but try to stay open minded and look for new ways to keep your relationship fun and exciting.
Obviously. Need we say more. Don’t cheat and don’t lie. Be faithful and be honest. If the incline is there to even consider lying or cheating then you need to re-evaluate your commitment to your partner.